Let’s Talk About Self Love

Self Love, it’s a pretty serious matter…so we are going to jump right to it…

If no one wanted to be bothered with you, would you be happy? Hmmm…that’s really something to think about right?

Happiness is one of the first steps to loving yourself. If you aren’t happy with yourself can you really be genuinely happy at all? Hmmm…probably not, I’m sure of it. 

If you aren’t happy with yourself can you expect others to be happy with you? Should you put pressure on the people around you to make you feel happy?

I know these are some pretty deep questions…as I was writing, I thought to myself…what are my responses to these questions. Based on experience I know that I was once not happy with myself, and I’m sure the people closest to me could tell. I would hear things like “It seems like you’re missing something in your life” or “It seems like there is a void that needs to be filled.” 

Well, it was and the void was getting to love and discover myself! Chilleeeee and when I finally got to know who Brittany Tiera was…there was no stopping me! I became confident in what I liked, what I didn’t like, what I would settle for, etc.

Here are a few steps that you can follow to start the process of loving yourself OR getting to know yourself, I believe that you can love who you are at the moment but still not fully understand who you are. Sometimes life’s experiences show us who we are based on how we respond.

1. Detach yourself from anything or anyone that’s toxic or negative! 

Listeeennnnn! When I tell you this part is going to sting a little…well, actually it’s going to do more than sting. It’s going to hurt…a lot! BUTTTT you will be fine. 

REALITY CHECK: Listen to the person closest to you when it comes to things like this. That one person you know without a shadow of a doubt is going to tell you the truth even when you don’t want to hear it…listen to them. There are things you can’t see in your friends and the people around you because you don’t want to see them. So, choose someone you trust and get their opinion on who you spend your time with. They may point out someone that’s toxic and you may not notice until they point it out

2. Go on a staycation!!!!!

Now, I know some of you may be thinking “I live by myself so I can skip this step”. DO NOT…I repeat…DO NOT SKIP THIS STEP!!! Changing the scenery can clear your mind, there are too many distractions in familiar places, ie. your home! One minute you will be praying and the next you will be in the living room changing your furniture around…

Think of this as a mini eat, pray, love journey. All you are going to do during this staycation is think about yourself…that’s it! You are going to put you first all weekend (I recommend 2 days at least). You are going to do what you want to do, eat what you want to eat, pray how you like to pray, etc. It’s all about YOU! 

A staycation gets rid of all the distractions around you. So, don’t spend time on social media and don’t spend too much time on the phone unless its to check in with people so they know you are safe. 

Note: the only way I would recommend that you skip this is if you don’t have the money to do so. Then, my advice to you would be go into isolation for a while. If that means staying in your room or finding a spot that you can focus on you, then do that. Also, for those who have children…I’m not sure what the solution is other than maybe getting a sitter (I don’t have children). Also, I’m not sure how this would work for a married person either (I’m not married). 

2A. Here is what I want you to do during your staycation

  1. Journal – write down your thoughts, your feelings, your prayers, what you are hearing during your time of prayer, and whatever else you see fit to write down
  2. Take some time to do this assignment
    1. Write down everything you love about yourself – The purpose of this exercise is to get you to see those things you love about yourself. What I challenge you to do is to focus on those things! Focus on what you love about YOU! 
    2. Write down everything you want to improve about yourself – The purpose of this exercise is to focus on those areas you want to improve on. There is no way you can become who you want to become without self discovery, which means you have to examine yourself. If the list of improvements is longer, do not focus on that!

2B. While you are there, I want you to do everything you want to do. Not what others like for you to do and not the things that you like to do with other people. Focus on what you like to do. A lot of times we find ourselves with other people or conforming to what other people want to do, even though it doesn’t do us any harm. However, it does blur your vision and can change your perspective on what you like or want. 

  1. If you like to Netflix and chill – do that
  2. If you like fancy dinners – go to one
  3. If you like going to the spa – GO!
  4. If you like to try ethinic foods – do it

3. At the end of your weekend…

I want you to write down what you feel like. Write down if you feel like you were able to discover something about yourself and what that something was. Think about how beneficial the weekend was and consider scheduling another staycation for the next quarter. 

Getting to love yourself and getting to know who you are is a journey! It’s truly a process…don’t resist the process…just go with it! Sometimes it can be challenging but…PUSH THROUGH & PRAY your way through it. 

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